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A Drafting Contractors Lot

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His soul arrived up in heaven where he was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. His soul arrived up in heaven where he was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter.
 +
"Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem.
 +
You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a contractor make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a contractor make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you.
 +
"No problem, just let me in." said the contractor. "No problem, just let me in." said the contractor.
 +
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders.
 +
What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose which one you want to spend eternity." What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose which one you want to spend eternity."
 +
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven" "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven"
 +
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the contractor in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the contractor in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
 +
The doors opened and the contractor found himself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. The doors opened and the contractor found himself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.
 +
In the distance was a country club and standing in front were all his friends - fellow contractors that he had worked with and they were all dressed in dinner jackets and cheering for him. In the distance was a country club and standing in front were all his friends - fellow contractors that he had worked with and they were all dressed in dinner jackets and cheering for him.
 +
They ran up and greeted him and they all talked about old times. They ran up and greeted him and they all talked about old times.
 +
They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where he enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where he enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner.
 +
He met the Devil, who was actually a really nice bloke, and he had a great time telling bawdy jokes and drinking. He met the Devil, who was actually a really nice bloke, and he had a great time telling bawdy jokes and drinking.
 +
The contractor was having such a good time that before he knew it, it was time to leave. The contractor was having such a good time that before he knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody shook his hand and waved goodbye as he got on the elevator. Everybody shook his hand and waved goodbye as he got on the elevator.
 +
The elevator then went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and the contractor found St. Peter waiting for him. The elevator then went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and the contractor found St. Peter waiting for him.
 +
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven." "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven."
 +
So the Contractor spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds playing the harp and singing. So the Contractor spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds playing the harp and singing.
He had a great time and before he knew it his 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got him. He had a great time and before he knew it his 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got him.
 +
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven.
 +
Now you must choose your eternity." Now you must choose your eternity."
 +
The contractor paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." The contractor paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
 +
So St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and again the contractor went down-down-down back to Hell. So St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and again the contractor went down-down-down back to Hell.
 +
When the doors of the elevator opened he found himself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in rubbish and filth. When the doors of the elevator opened he found himself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in rubbish and filth.
 +
He saw his friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. He saw his friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to him and put his arm around him. The Devil came up to him and put his arm around him.
 +
"I don't understand," stammered the contractor, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course, a country club and we ate lobster and laughed, drank and had a great time. "I don't understand," stammered the contractor, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course, a country club and we ate lobster and laughed, drank and had a great time.
 +
Now there is a wasteland of rubbish and all my friends look miserable" Now there is a wasteland of rubbish and all my friends look miserable"
The Devil looked at him and smiled. The Devil looked at him and smiled.
 +
"That's because yesterday you were a contractor, today you're permanent staff." "That's because yesterday you were a contractor, today you're permanent staff."
[[category:Drafting Funnies]] [[category:Drafting Funnies]]

Current revision

There once was an Drafting CAD Contractor who lived his whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people he worked for, he believed in knowledge transfer and never kept information from others. In fact, he made sure that every job he did resulted in a win-win situation.

One day while walking down the street he was tragically hit by a bus and died.

His soul arrived up in heaven where he was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter.

"Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem.

You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a contractor make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you.

"No problem, just let me in." said the contractor.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders.

What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose which one you want to spend eternity."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven"

"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the contractor in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.


The doors opened and the contractor found himself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.

In the distance was a country club and standing in front were all his friends - fellow contractors that he had worked with and they were all dressed in dinner jackets and cheering for him.

They ran up and greeted him and they all talked about old times.

They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where he enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner.

He met the Devil, who was actually a really nice bloke, and he had a great time telling bawdy jokes and drinking.

The contractor was having such a good time that before he knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook his hand and waved goodbye as he got on the elevator.


The elevator then went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and the contractor found St. Peter waiting for him.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven."

So the Contractor spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds playing the harp and singing. He had a great time and before he knew it his 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got him.


"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven.

Now you must choose your eternity."

The contractor paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and again the contractor went down-down-down back to Hell.


When the doors of the elevator opened he found himself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in rubbish and filth.

He saw his friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to him and put his arm around him.


"I don't understand," stammered the contractor, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course, a country club and we ate lobster and laughed, drank and had a great time.

Now there is a wasteland of rubbish and all my friends look miserable" The Devil looked at him and smiled.


"That's because yesterday you were a contractor, today you're permanent staff."


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